Nothingness awaits me

 imagine waking up everyday to such a sight...! I wouldn't mind one bit..! But here in Singapore, we're woken up by noisy vehicles and everything else that is man made noise. And the view, it can't get any worse. Ohh yea, its a jungle out there. Jungle filled with high rise urban buildings and everything else but nature. What about the beach? Its crap! Horizon is filled with countless huge ass ships! Haizz.

I want a holiday BADLY. Correction, I freakking need a holiday! I want to dive into nature! See new lands! Meet new people. Get lost in a jungle!
But life just have to get in the way ehh? Haizz!



me and my S.N.A.F.U Life..... i'm pathetic, i get it

Moments in my life

Wahhh finally! my laptop is back on my lap! But not without complications. Sent my laptop for repairs but returned with all the data gone! its like a brand new laptop! Damnnn! So need to send the laptop back to SP people to get the SP software craps back! But for now, its a cool. Let see what happened last few days!


WATERPOLO WAS UNCOOL!
  15Dec. Wednesday was kinda uncool. Seriously. Made it for the important meeting. Seems like i'll still be playing waterpolo further down the road. But however, said farewell to some people who had made an impact in my life. People who made me believe that I was destined for something bigger. People who believed in me while I didn't believe I was able to do things more. Yupp, had to say goodbye to those people. My wednesdays will be very much different without them. Especially her. Yeaa, she was special to me. Because of some reason uhh. Sent her home on that knowing my last time i'll ever see her. Even though I hope i'll see her again. Oooooohhhh yeaaa! She made me something for our last day!

cant be seen clearly, but written there BOYS

 yeaa, she's a year older then me so i think thats why she refer to me as a "boy". lolz! Really really wish to see her again soon. Afterall, without her, I wouldnt be where I am right now ehhh. Sobss.....

Played waterpolo again on the 22nd dec, wednesday. Felt really weird without those people. Haizz. They used to be there everytime. EVERYTIME! As constant as the stars above. So how am I supposed to act normal, when the stars suddenly one day disappears right? Haizz!


SP ADVENTURERS!
 had the "traditional right of passage" camp called AX at P. Ubin on 16 to 17 Dec. Was suppose to be from 15, but I had to go for my important waterpolo meeting. So joined on the 2nd and 3rd day. Felt kinda............ wrong for me luhh. The camp was quite a training camp. Countless push ups. Disgusting shits. Learning imporant survival skills. More disgusting shits. Walking in the middle of the night when fully exhausted already. More countless push ups, more disgusting shits. Hahahaha! Shall learn from my seniors and not post EVERYTHING up for my future juniors to know about..! hahahaha! 

me and the fellow upgraders!

But i think overall, it was a great experience. I think my muscles have grown too big too. okok lolz, joking! hahahaha! But seriously those people around me were a great bunch of people. They were the source of my motivation. Seriously, i didn't think i would be able to do all that i have done without them! =)

Yesterday 23rd Dec, went to SAFRA Yishun to rock climb with SPA people. AND Yishun rockwall is like freakkkkkkkkkkkkking HIGH CAN?!!! LOLZ! Climbing there was AWESOME LUHH! Especially the rock gym! Its like a freakking playground thats what it is! hahahaha! And THE CHIMNEY Climb....... That was seriously fucked up shit! Literally. It was the hardest shit I ever did I think. I don't remember sweating so much when climbing siaaa! But I made it to the top! =) Here are some photos of yesterday!

crazily climb with the camera.

 Epic photo. LoLz!

freakkkkking high!

Jasper and Afiq. High right? Lolz!

 Didnt really had the chance to take pics inside the rock gym. But it was "enriching" inside there. Hahahaha! And omg, my seniors can climb really well lorrzz! lolz! Ended the day with countless blisters on the hand, scrapped skin all over the place coz of the chimney climb, and aching muscles. But took back home great experience! hahaha!


OKOK, NOW ON TO MY PERSONAL STUFFS ( read it with an open mind )
went to court on Christmas Eve (today) coz of stupid reasons. Shall not press on the matter. Quite depressing. Just some words for it. You Sir, are a dumbass! Down to the core dumbass..! Never make assurance knowing you cant keep dumbass fucker!


she................. she's not like every other girl. She's different. I feel different being with her. Although we have this special friendship for like 3 years now, it still feels special everytime i'm with her. And it took me 3 years to realize that I'll never be happy in life unless knowing that she's part of the happiness too. She grew to be something special to me. We hang out like almost 3 times a week at the very same place. We stayed up all the way from night to morning doing crap and all. And must I really risk all this special things in my life to tell her how I feel? One thing for sure is that I really don't wanna lose this special thing I have with her. But on the other hand, I really wanna let her know how I feel about her. Personally, I have no idea how she feels about me. Because she's always so tied up about all the guys who like her and how she doesnt like a single one of them. But what if I end up being one of those morons too? Haizz But this is all me looking things from my perspective.

If im to look at the perspective whereby i'm suppose to be her friend. What kind of friend am I if I pressure her with my feelings when I tell her how I feel? What if she doesnt like it and doesnt want it? Haizz.. I dunno what to do. I everytime walk off feeling fucked up with regrets after sending her home. Because I wont wanna be 20 years down the road, looking back only to regret all those moments that I could have use for a better purpose. I dunno. I'm hopeless. Whatever. FML



afterall this is my SNAFU LIFE. Thanks for reading. Posted on christmas eve. But its already 25Dec now. Merry Christmas

MISSING!

hahaha! okay, i didnt go missing these days. Just that my laptop went for repairs and i cant update my blog. Haizz. Sad case ehh. will update soon luhh. When my laptop is back. For now, just SIT TIGHT! coz the next post will be a long one! lolz! see ya!

random....... lolz!

 Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face, but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul

Holiday is HERE!

 Yay~! Finally finish with my 2 papers. Now holiday is here! weeeeeeeeeee!! Still, i don't think i did well for my engineering maths uhh. Dunno luhh, sad case. Still, lets catch up about stuffs these days.

WEDNESDAY LIKE ALWAYS
  Last wednesday was a blast. Since its still offseason time, TJC came to play with us again. But instead of playing against us, we mix our team with their team so to make things fair. And yeaaaaaa, i played WITH the coach instead of against him. Found out he is quite nice luhh. And i see him being quite lenient to my other players while playing against them. Not boasting or what luhh, but I think he did that to me last week because he thinks that i'm up for the challenge. Thinks that i'm good enough or what luhh because I seriously didn't see him being all crap to anyone else. Not to humiliate me or what. I think its just me thinking too much. Afterall, i'm quite an emotional person =D  I think i understand how he feels uhh about last week after talking to him. He is like trying hard to build a strong team. But he needs more. So I think he did all those for a reason. I mean, if i were him, I'd do the same thing =) no hard feelings i hope 

Next wednesday is gonna be a blast! Have some important meeting. Plus meeting with very important people and all luhh. It seems like an opportunity of something new next week. Bright future! hahaha! Hopefully......................

BUT HOWEVER!
  My wednesday waterpolo meet had to be on a horrible time! My cca Adventure Club having their AX (adventure extreme?) camp starting wednesday which totally clashes with the meeting. More then anything, I want to go for the camp with my friends. But...........the meet is really important. It will determines my future in waterpolo ehhhhhhhhh~!!!! I hope there is some way to settle it. haizzzzzz! How lehh? Dunno which one to chose! aiyooooooooooo! Everytime siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........................... things always clash. I dunno lahhhhhh, i seem to have some bad luck on stuffs I really want. FML lahhh.

im like a maths books. Full of problems. Hope to find "someone" to solve all my problems~

SO MUCH TIME..... But WTF?

 I dunno luhh but everyone keeps complaining that got so little time to do so many things like project, study, these and that. But Im here with so much time but not doing any of those. In fact im wasting my time doing SHITS! Hahaha! Mid-semester test is like this coming up week. So im gonna start studying...... soon enough. Hahaha!

  Well these days im wasting my time on still refereeing waterpolo matches which takes alomost all my weekend. Had to do it coz i owe the singapore waterpolo people BIG time. lolx! While refereeing saw my school team SP put together with SMU team playing as a team got 3rd position overall? And saw NUS womens team getting first with half their team players are all Chio Bu..... hahaha.

  Got nothing much happening these days. Everyday I wake up hoping that something great is gonna happen. But noo, not much things happen. Life is becoming very mundane and all. I wanna do something. Correction, I need to do something before I start going crazy. Haizz.

FUCKED UP GAME

 Nothing can get the thoughts out of my mind. That horrible day. That horrible game. I used to forget about bad stuffs very easily. But this is different. It seems that it'll be etched in my mind for quite long.

WHATT HAPPENED?
 It was waterpolo as usual on wednesday. However on the first day of December, that wednesday, Temasek JC waterpolo team came to have a game with us. I've always enjoyed playing with them. They are a good team and have good sportsmanship, even though we used to trash them everytime they came. Things went well on the first quarter. We were leading by 5 - 0. It's like a throw away game for us already. Until the point whereby the TJC coach started playing with their team on the 2nd quarter.
SHIT STARTED.
  TJC coach is a ex-national player. That means he's one of the best waterpolo players in Singapore. Being the best player, I didn't know he have the biggest shit in himself. My goal keeper is one of my best friend in the team. And one point during the game, he went down so fast to the other side of the court up to the point he was one-on-one with my goalie. We all thought that he was waiting for his TJC members to go down so that they would have a chance to score. THAT BLOODY FUCKER go made a fool out of my goalie and score a "action-PACKED" backshot! Seriously fucked up lahh.
I STARTED MY SHIT.
 I was like damn mad that I beg my coach so that i can play. Immediately when 3rd quarter began, I made a fool out of the whole TJC team and scored 1 goal when the whole team was chasing after me. okayy, I may have went over the line and scold some shit just after i goaled which I think no one heard. Few moments later I scored another one. That gave me closure and some piece of my mind.
FUCKED UP THINGS BEGUN!
 I'm quite sure I tick off the coach. I can feel his eyes on me every moment. Soon he came back and played while I was in the pool too. Things started to go seriously fucked up. Just as the clock went off after he came in, he went straight infront of me with the ball and BANG in a HALF COURT GOAL IN FRONT OF MY FACE! IN FRONT OF MY FACE?!! The whole time, while I was attacking, he kept marking me and went all crazily aggressive against me? And whenever he's attacking, he'd go infront of my face and score a goal. I mean like what the hell? You come back into the game just to humiliate me? I thought an eye fir an eye is good enough. Why must you do more shit? Afterall, YOU STARTED IT!
It ends off with he scoring another 5 with all that 5 occurred infront of my face and I was simply helpless. He literally made a fool out of me luhh.Walked home with tears in my eyes and a most probably fractured knuckle.






WATERPOLO THESE DAYS
 well, I think the more you hate someone, the more you're bound to see them more. I was hired to be an official referee on a waterpolo competition these days. And seeing the coach alot of time makes me piss only. But I had to show a smile everytime he smiles at me. Haizz! Refereed alot of games. Including the shit TJC team. But had to be fair with them luhh. Hahaha! If it was up to me, I would screw TJC upside down already. lolx!

RACHEL!
 Being at the competition, I saw a long lost friend! Hahaha! Rachel and me used to be good friends with the very same goal! We promised that one day to finally be at National Team. However, she being even younger then me made it to National Womens Team before I do. Quite an embarrassment luhh. But yeaa. Happy to see her! Missed her alot! Ohh yea, she's the youngest girl in the national team making a brilliant record. Hahaha! Sadly didn't get a chance to take a picture with her or whatt... hahaha

You tell me I couldnt do something, im gonna show you that I can. Or im gonna die trying