Captain Barbossa once said:

"cruel is a matter of perspective!"

  and yes, that is true. One side can see someone doing something; ANYTHING as a good thing. But another party may see it as something cruel uhhs!

 The signs were there, everywhere! The warnings from EVERYONE else I know can be HEARD, EVERYTIME! However I still go one with my idiotic decision. And it took me less then 2 weeks later to realize that what I did was wrong. Why didn't I see and understand the signs? Whyy didn't I hear and heed the advice of so many?

 I guess in the end, its quite hard too look at the bigger picture when you are so caught up in the moment. All I know was, I was chasing after something I wanted for too long. But I didn't know in the end that it was but a shadow and a thought that I loved. She couldn't give me what I want uhhs. But everyone else could see that except me. I, myself am not sure what kept me so motivated to keep on chasing. Maybe it was the people around ME that looks SO HAPPY TOGETHER WITH THEIR PARTNER! (sorry uhh bro! lolz) But I don't understand. Why can't it happen to me too? Sad face!

  Well, i guess this chapter ends here. At least I gave myself a few honest shots. It was hard. But.....whats meant to be... will be lorr!

  However NOW! I don't wanna sound really fucked up or what. I'm sorry readers. But I don't think I believe in that fucked up word called love anymore. No but seriously hear me out. Or Not! You won't like it much. We humans are gonna DIE sooner or later! Why get invested in something like that so much when you know in the END, you are gonna go separate ways also. I dunno about you people. But I was put on this beautiful earth to ENJOY God's work. The 7 summits, vast oceans, the complex yet fascinating human body where nothing is impossible and MANY MORE! I just don't wanna have regrets in life or what lahhs. I dunno about you guys, BUT i'm not gonna live pass 31 years old anyways..! hahahaha!

  Bear with me luhhs. I'm usually this fucked up after 3am... I think its true, night changes many thoughts. And moods too. Ohh! and i'm damn fucking pissed up and tempered up easily these days! Fucking me cannot do so many stuffs these days Coz of A stupid thing..! Plus a few hours ago I got pissed for no reason by some PEOPLE! aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! I'm shit. Fuck me!



written by my fuckup mood..! Ask me about this and I'll fuck you

Passion!

 I can never believe that something so beautiful exist..! I wanna see it with my own eyes to believe it..! I really wanna see it one day! The Aurora Borealis sounds and looks too brilliant to be true! I've read about it before and it sounds REALLY REALLY WAYYY TOO AWESOME to LOOK THAT AWESOME!! Hahahaha! One of my dream GOALS =D see the Aurora at least once in my life! =)

Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion

People Around me

Friends...

 That word have been put to the test for me, these few days. To me its quite a sensitive issue uhhs as.... lets just say, let the past remain in the past. But these days..... its different. Whether its friend by choice or friends by coincidence..... or reason. Its the same. No wait, its not..!

 Long story uhhhs. But to me friends have different meaning to different people. And you can't really have 2 friends define each others friendship the same way. But if you can, Then thats what I call True Friendship! But real friends are hard to come by. And I think personally its just me..... I have issues with trusting people.

 And its quite unfair and sad when 2 friends have totally different views of each others friendship. Misunderstanding maybe? I dunnno. If you're following me this far, you'll realise that i'm not making sense anymore. Should stop reading.

 However, things can't always go well like how you want it to be. You can't be expected to have the perfect friends whereby they'll be there without you even asking. Or even you won't expect them to be hypocrites and thinking they won't talk bad behind your back. Yes things may just be better if people can just matured'ly sit down and talk. But lets just say we people are raise to be quite hard at that though. The more we mature, the more bullshit we get. And people just don't want to express true feelings for one another regardless good or bad because people just don't like awkward'ness. At least I wouldn't like that.

 But if feelings are shared, then bo pian lor! Take it like just anyone else would do. But what do you do after that defines who you are. You can either change towards where the relationship is heading. Or Get pissed, mad and burn a bridge down with someone. If that person means nothing much to you, why not right? But what if I am talking about a good relationship. Lets say for my case. Feelings are shared BUT! you take neither a step towards the change nor a step back to burn the bridge down. Basically, you're not taking any steps at all..! And that is pissing me off..!

 Because SERIOUSLY! I can't always be the one taking steps! Anymore steps! I'll be walking away! And that is for REAL..! Thats just me. I bolts off at the first sign of "BULLSHIT"..!



this is personally written by my emotions. Don't talk about this post to me. I didn't write it. And I mean it. I just need it to be here. For ME to see =D

Beyond the World

 

"Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later tell how they stood for hours in the cold rain just to catch a glimpse of the one who taught them to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us who keep us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. EVEN OUR DREAMS." 

 

— Spiderman 2



 Winning IS EVERYTHING

Some people believe winning is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, MUCH more important than that

I'm different. I know I am

 yes i admit it. I've change. And I don't like it. I really used to be wayy different.

 I used to put all my commitments in front of my relationships. Anything can come first and my relationships with people can just wait. But that's been different for me these days. Its been vice versa these days. It was last morning incident whereby I realize it. I was suppose to be on my way to school for the club's meeting. But when I saw her at the playground swing all alone. I acted like as if i was second nature. I just pressed the bell and went down the bus. I mean, seriously.......what was I thinking?

 But deep down I know she was in need of someone. But why did I volunteered? I know myself. I'm not good with sad eyes looking at me. But I still stayed with her. Knowing full well that being myself like always, I know that I'll go down a bad road with my emotional involvement. I just hope that I can change. Or someone can pull me out of it. Or who knows......she might change? But who am I kidding? I of all people should know......its her we're talking about.

 I dunno what I should do. I really hope that I invested in the right people. I don't wanna repeat my same old bloody mistakes again. I'm supposed to learn from it and not repeat it again. But here I am again.... back to square one like always; in a dilemma.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one

I want THAT TOO!

every time I look at someone's else perfect life and family, All I could do is shout "I WANT THAT TOO!!!"

 I just Hate my place in this world. Yea I know you'd say stuffs like "should be appreciative......." "other people is having worst crap bla bla" But I swear, I'd rather trade places for a worst life but a better surrounding, rather then this CRAP!


 I'm really in need of some magic =( things are at ALL not going my way these days..... I got so Many things to do but......... Commitments get in the way I guess..?